Do You Find Yourself Overcompensating In Order To Attract A Woman?

All of us have a sense, even a vague one, of why we’re on Earth and what it is we have to do during this life. I’m not refering to religious beliefs or any "grand scheme" or anything. I’m talking about the reality we know we’re in. We’re higher primates, creatures that have evolved over an incredibly long space of time to have large brains and opposable thumbs, which is a formidable combination. Our advanced cognitive and cooperative skills have allowed us to create massive civilisations, full of technology. And that technology has in turn allowed us to further advance our social skills and intelligence. We’re a race that is attatched to a rocket of forward progress.

It’s 40 years since we first planted a flag on our moon. Now we’re trying to discover what Mars has to offer! However, regardless of all of the technology we have, all of the cities we've built and the vast ammount of knowledge we’ve rammed into our heads, into books and onto the internet, we are STILL just naked apes with only two fundamental and unchanging goals in mind: stay alive and breed. It might not feel like that, but the 360,000 new arrivals born into this world every single day testify to this unavoidable fact: we want to find mates and have babies. Humans have goals in life, all types of goals. This guy wants to be a doctor, this girl wants to travel the world, this fellow wants little more than to start his own business. Whatever someones goals are, it’s safe to assume that the one goal they share with most others is to partner up with somebody of the opposite sex and build a relationship with them.

So how will that lead us to the topic of attracting women? Well, it was important to establish two things, two facts. First, we are really just animals with identical biological goals other animals have. Second, we have come a long way from the jungle. Although we are clever apes, we’re also clever people. This is why most men struggle to seduce women. They have always had the same goals, but now they’re playing a game on a different field with different rules. This is why, on any given Friday or Saturday night, a whole host of men overcompensating in an effort to seduce women. They overcompensate in body language and behaviour.

They attempt to do what they think it takes to attract women but they go too far. For example, in their minds they know that women respect and find attractive men who are physically strong. So, what happens? They overcompensate by puffing their chests out and strutting about like they’re on the war path, and flex their muscles to show off their strength. In their minds they know that women find men who are respected by other men attractive. So, they overcompensate by being overbearing to other men. They intimidate other males as a way of establishing a hierarchy. The make the loudest noises and the most flamboyant displays, they want women to notice this. Finally, men know in their minds that women like men who are confident and unafraid of them, so they overcompensate by pinching them as they walk past or walking up to them and making crude suggestions.

The lesson here is that although men and women have pretty much the same goals they’ve always had, the process of achieving them is different these days, it’s more complicated. Too many men believe that the only way to attract women is to concentrate on the qualities they know what women historically wanted, strength, leadership, etc. They exaggerate these until they get the desired results. This is a flawed strategy and one that must be avoided. Instead you should aim to display and demonstrate desirable attributes through modern, socially-accepted behaviours.

For example, a man who overcompensates may try to display that he is an alpha male by being overbearing to other men. He may subtly (or not so subtly) put another man down in the woman’s presence. This smacks of overcompensation and the woman instantly notices it. The man who knows how to attract women, however, would choose the more modern, socially-acceptable way to show that he is a leader. He may bring the woman into his large group of friends or tell her a story that demonstrates that he possesses leadership qualities. It’s the carrot or the stick approach. Women prefer to be drawn into your world, not dragged and beaten into it.

You’ll tend to find that women with fragile egos or weak personalities will respond to men who overcompensate more than women with established identities. As a man, it’s best to cater for the upper end of the market. So, when it comes to displaying confident body language, demonstrating that you’re a leader, showing that you’re experienced and doing all the other things you know in your mind men need to do to attract women, do not overcompensate.